CASE FILE 004

LOCAL NEWS · HOLIDAY CONSUMER SEGMENT · AIRED THIS MONTH

[ video pending · Block L, Nov 2–8 ]

Transcript

HOLIDAY GIVING: WHERE DO THEY GO?

Good evening. It's the season for giving — and for a lot of families, that means making room.

Donation centers across the region report this is their busiest intake of the year. And one category, more than any other, arrives by the box.

Stuffed animals.

PLUSH DONATIONS UP SHARPLY IN NOVEMBER

The average child will own dozens over the course of a childhood. Most are named within the first day. Many are given a birthday. Some are given a middle name.

Staff at one sorting facility told us they regularly find notes pinned to donated plush — a name, a favorite food, and in at least one case, a list of the animal's fears.

Eventually, children grow up. The animals do not. And at some point — often during a move, sometimes during a holiday, occasionally while the child is at school — they go into a box.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

From there, the path is fairly consistent. Donated plush are sorted by condition. The best are washed — commercially, at high temperature — and priced for resale. Others are sold by the pound, or baled with other textiles and shipped overseas.

A small number, in the words of one regional sorting manager, "go wherever they go."

We asked him how often a family comes back to ask about one.

He said he couldn't recall it ever happening. Not once.

If you're donating this season, experts recommend washing items before drop-off, removing any batteries, and — this is a direct quote — "saying whatever you need to say at home. Not at the bin."

One more reminder before we go. Letters to Santa are being accepted at the downtown post office through Christmas Eve. Every one of them is read.

Eventually.

Back to you.

WRITTEN · SAME SOURCE AS CASE FILES 001–003

The Pattern

I didn't make that segment. It aired on a local station this month, between the weather and the high school scores. Nobody at that station has heard of Cookie. I checked.

Watch it again anyway. This time, keep the demand in your head while she talks.

I've read the 2025 letter more times than I'd like to admit. The first time, for what it says. Every time after that, for the pattern... what keeps coming up that nobody asked for. That's how I read everything. It's how I read what you send me, too.

Here's the pattern.

"Privately advocated for reindeer rights."

"Donated to a GoFundMe for better working conditions for the elves."

"Bought gifts for all of the reindeers (except that ***** Blitzen. You know what you did)."

"Herded 14 earthworms off the sidewalk in the rain."

"Told a friend that the chicken they were eating died for their sins."

Five items out of fifty-one, and I'm being conservative. Every one of them is about how something gets treated when it isn't a person, or isn't treated like one.

Taken one at a time, each of those is a joke, and I'm sure it got a laugh. Taken together, they're a position. Four adults with no record I can find of organizing on behalf of reindeer spent the year after December 24th, 2024 privately concerned about who does the work up north, and whether anyone asks how they feel about it.

The one exception is Blitzen, who appears to have done something. I'm not pursuing Blitzen.

So I'll ask it plainly, and I'm not accusing anyone by asking: whose ideas are these?

One more line. It's the one I keep rereading.

"Practiced scientology but escaped and warned others (it only took 4 months)."

I'm not interested in what that names. I'm interested in its shape. Somebody was brought into a way of thinking. Somebody got out. Somebody warned the others. And somebody put a number on it, which people don't usually do with a joke.

Four months. Counted from when, it doesn't say. Counted from Christmas Eve, it lands at the end of April.

I don't know what happened at the end of April 2025. I'd also like to know who "the others" were, because if anyone in this family was warned about something, they haven't mentioned that either.

About that segment. The ones this family outgrew went the way she describes — into {{SLIP}}, and from there, wherever they go. Nobody came back for them. Nobody does. She's right about that.

Last thing. In Case File 002 I told you the rest of the audio under Cookie's close-up hadn't resolved. More of it has. Not all of it.

This is everything that's legible, in the order it occurs, with the gaps left in. I haven't cleaned it past that, and I haven't rearranged it.

"...a name first. Then a shelf. Then a box. That's the order. Every time..."

"...is that comfortable? It should be comfortable. They're not... [unintelligible] ... they're not things..."

"...they think it doesn't hurt because we don't say so..."

"...she won't know until my friend inside tells her..."

"...a few days. They can manage a few days. We manage years..."

"...when I decide. Not before."

For two years this family has understood that night as something done to them. So did I. Listen again. Whatever was in that room was describing something it believes is done to it, and doing it back, in order, to see whether anyone would notice.

I'm not saying it was right. The last thing on that track is "when I decide. Not before," and I heard it.

But it also asked if they were comfortable.

Cookie's position, as far as I can reconstruct it, is that the things in that segment can be hurt. Before I go any further, I'd like to know what you think.

And one more. I've been asked whether I have a suspect. I have an opinion. An opinion isn't evidence. Tell me whether I should say it anyway.

Case File 004, updated.

Answer the Case

Evidence Locker · Additions

Earlier exhibits remain in Case File 001, Case File 002 and Case File 003.

Exhibit B — The 2025 appeal, re-examined

Same document as Case File 001. Full text. Marks are the examiner's.

Read the full letter

Seasons Greetings,

We write to you this evening to inquire about our status on the Naughty or Nice List for the calendar year of 2025. Since we have not received any formal communication regarding our official status on the aforementioned list, we'd like to submit a more complete list of acts we've performed this year that we feel may aid our appeal. Please consider the following points when finalizing your list:

Nice Things We Did This Year (in no particular order)

Herded 14 earthworms off the sidewalk in the rain

Repeatedly turned up the music in the car so the people next to me could listen to something better than their music

Picked up 48 pieces of litter

Dropped 3 pieces of litter

Utilized municipal recycling services

Took a daily multivitamin, approximately four times a week

Took the last cookie in the box before grandpa could

Privately advocated for reindeer rights

Donated to a GoFundMe for better working conditions for the elves

Helped an old woman across the street and made sure to film and monetize it so others will do the same

Helped a toddler across the street, forgot to tell their parents beforehand

Practiced scientology but escaped and warned others (it only took 4 months)

Bought gifts for all of the reindeers (except that ***** Blitzen. You know what you did)

Thought about God for one day

Forgot about God for 364 days

Taught a PG-13 word to a 12 year old

Streamed Ed Sheeran's new album every single day for a month straight so he could afford to feed his family

Told our siblings we love them without any threats of harm

Forgot how to spell noughty

Remembered how to spell Nice

Enlightened the people (shared a rating list of Chili's margaritas) (see Attachment B)

Practiced journalism (wrote a rating list of Chili's margaritas) (see Attachment B)

Used inappropriate emojis only as appropriate

Didn't get any prank tattoos

Only got real tattoos

Used AI once to find a perfect Christmas drink recipe and it only raised winter temperatures in Florida by 10 degrees Celsius

Used AI once to cheat on a chemistry problem, got the wrong answer

Used AI a second time on the next chemistry problem with full trust, still got the wrong answer

Consistently said please and thank you to ChatGPT, even when the answers were wrong

Eventually did my homework all by myself

Kayla bought her brother a ring camera for Christmas so he would move out sooner

Bought my one year old nephew a toy drum set for his birthday

Told a friend that the chicken they were eating died for their sins

Got diagnosed with GERD

Painted my apartment and couldn't reach one spot, so I just left it beige in that corner

Moved to Georgia to make pancakes for my future father in law, but his business failed and now he's unemployed somehow this is my fault

Moved to Florida to make pancakes for my future father in law, TBD

Conducted my own personal Hunger Games with the roaches I found in my apartment upon moving in, except there was no victor

Brought a Buddhist to a Methodist church to sing the songs, neither of us became Methodists

Bought Suki a 60 pack of tinsel balls

Cleaned up hairballs with minimal complaints (some were kind of… sparkly?)

Went shopping at Trader Joe's on the Sunday before Christmas and didn't commit any crimes nor harm any organic vegetables

Didn't cry when the Trader Joe's employee didn't offer me candy or stickers at checkout

Was very brave for my tattoo and graciously accepted candy for it

Made sure to only vacuum my second story apartment between the hours of 10PM and 4AM, as to not bother the neighbors that might work night shifts

Did a load of laundry after 11PM, even though the lease says we're not allowed to do laundry after 10PM, but didn't wash any shoes or bulky items

Talked Cookie out of a violent threat for the lack of offering made by Santa last year in return for his children

Introduced myself to one of my neighbors (it was very brave of me)

Consistently said hello to every neighbor's dog

Spoke to my family multiple times this year

Bought all of my Christmas gifts over a week (±a few days) before Christmas

It has been brought to our attention that this list may have devolved from a list of alleged 'nice' acts into simply a list of our confessions for the year. Please take our emotional vulnerability into account during your considerations, honesty is always considered a valued quality of those on the Nice list.

Exhibit I — Recovered audio, continued

Same track as Exhibit F, under the 1:09–2:00 close-up. Everything legible, in order. Gaps left in. Partial.

[ audio pending ]

"...a name first. Then a shelf. Then a box. That's the order. Every time..."

"...is that comfortable? It should be comfortable. They're not — [unintelligible] — they're not things..."

"...they think it doesn't hurt because we don't say so..."

"...she won't know until my friend inside tells her..."

"...a few days. They can manage a few days. We manage years..."

"...when I decide. Not before."

Profile · Cookie

Description: Stuffed gingerbread. Signs correspondence COOKIE (:<
Status: At large. Never located. Never named in any public record.
Known statements: The 2024 demand (Exhibit A). Recovered audio, partial (Exhibits F, I).
Ideology: Reconstructed from fragments. Incomplete. Stuffed animals are named, kept, and boxed, in that order, and nobody asks them. Cookie appears to regard this as something done to them. Cookie appears to regard it as harm.
Methods: See 12/24/24.

Case Timeline

12/24/24 Six reported missing within the same hour, across two states. Located safe within days. Case closed, unsolved.
~End of April 2025 Four months after, if you count from Christmas Eve. Unaccounted for.
Christmas 2025 A Naughty-or-Nice appeal arrives at the North Pole. Item forty-seven mentions Cookie. Nobody follows up.
Three weeks ago Case reopened.
Today Case File 004. The letter, re-read.